November 13, 2009
I used to work there, and remember the proud presentation of this advertising campaign to the rest of the agency.  I was stifling my laughter then, but I’m sure as hell laughing out loud now! peachfuzz: McGarry Bowen tried to come back from being made fun of for their hilariously embarrassing Miracle Whip campaign with an open letter to Stephen Colbert. Sorry guys, but you’re still the laughing stock of your peers, and most likely the 18-35 demo. Let’s just hope the morbidly obese midwesterners that actually eat this crap aren’t turned off by your 1990’s Mountain Dew version of a rooftop party. For the record, Miracle Whip is just mayo with high fructose corn syrup. All the nasty, but now with diabetes. See the original ad: http://peachfuzz.tumblr.com/post/161607303 See Colbert’s version: http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/252726/october-15-2009/the-mayo-lution-will-not-be-televised Text of the letter: Dear Mr. Colbert, Recently on your show, you tapped into a sore spot in our nation’s psyche: the eternal struggle between mayonnaise and Miracle Whip. And surprisingly, for a man of your impeccable intellect, you’ve chosen the wrong side. A side doomed to a painful, drawn-out, utter and complete defeat. Like the Plantagenets in the Hundred Years’ War. Or whichever on was the cat in “Tom and Jerry.” Mr. Colbert, we found your attacks a little harsh, occasionally funny, and at times, wholly inaccurate (for the record, our target is 18-35, not 34). But unlike most advertisers who are so mayo, who would back down at the slightest whiff of controversy, and pull their advertising from not just your show but from your entire network and all its sister entities – we intend to do the opposite. On Thursday, November 12, we will dominate the airspace on your show. With every commercial break, your viewers will be exposed to hardcore Miracle Whip attitude and revelry. You will see our legion of (as you call them) “mayonay-sayers” snarfing sandwiches topped with our one-of-a-kind flavor in a very cool and totally hip way. They will be in your face and massively dope. It goes without saying, they WILL NOT TONE IT DOWN. And you will begin to see the soft, bland white walls of the mayo empire begin to collapse under the weight of its own whipped-egg pretentiousness. Think about it, Mr. Colbert. In a sense, we will own you. We’re on a mission. We’re taking no prisoners. We’re raising Hell, man. THE BOLD MARKETING TEAM AT MIRACLE WHIP (via 24isthenew25)

I used to work there, and remember the proud presentation of this advertising campaign to the rest of the agency.  I was stifling my laughter then, but I’m sure as hell laughing out loud now!

peachfuzz:

McGarry Bowen tried to come back from being made fun of for their hilariously embarrassing Miracle Whip campaign with an open letter to Stephen Colbert. Sorry guys, but you’re still the laughing stock of your peers, and most likely the 18-35 demo. Let’s just hope the morbidly obese midwesterners that actually eat this crap aren’t turned off by your 1990’s Mountain Dew version of a rooftop party.

For the record, Miracle Whip is just mayo with high fructose corn syrup. All the nasty, but now with diabetes.

See the original ad:

http://peachfuzz.tumblr.com/post/161607303

See Colbert’s version:

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/252726/october-15-2009/the-mayo-lution-will-not-be-televised

Text of the letter:

Dear Mr. Colbert,

Recently on your show, you tapped into a sore spot in our nation’s psyche: the eternal struggle between mayonnaise and Miracle Whip. And surprisingly, for a man of your impeccable intellect, you’ve chosen the wrong side. A side doomed to a painful, drawn-out, utter and complete defeat. Like the Plantagenets in the Hundred Years’ War. Or whichever on was the cat in “Tom and Jerry.”

Mr. Colbert, we found your attacks a little harsh, occasionally funny, and at times, wholly inaccurate (for the record, our target is 18-35, not 34). But unlike most advertisers who are so mayo, who would back down at the slightest whiff of controversy, and pull their advertising from not just your show but from your entire network and all its sister entities – we intend to do the opposite.

On Thursday, November 12, we will dominate the airspace on your show. With every commercial break, your viewers will be exposed to hardcore Miracle Whip attitude and revelry. You will see our legion of (as you call them) “mayonay-sayers” snarfing sandwiches topped with our one-of-a-kind flavor in a very cool and totally hip way. They will be in your face and massively dope. It goes without saying, they WILL NOT TONE IT DOWN. And you will begin to see the soft, bland white walls of the mayo empire begin to collapse under the weight of its own whipped-egg pretentiousness.

Think about it, Mr. Colbert. In a sense, we will own you.

We’re on a mission. We’re taking no prisoners.

We’re raising Hell, man.

THE BOLD MARKETING TEAM AT MIRACLE WHIP

(via 24isthenew25)

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